By Marie H. Beach
A lot of people fall into a rabbit hole called lack of motivation. It’s a major problem when you have responsibilities as most do. Lacking motivation feels sometimes vague, at other times like a huge block sitting in the middle of your chest. Other times it’s like having the foot on the brake with intermittent, often forced moments of acceleration. It can be wrongly diagnosed as depression and treated with drugs, although it is a possibility it may be a result of circumstances that produce low grade depression.
Five reasons for lack of motivation are:
1) You work a job; not your passion.
2) Your life is screeching for change.
3) Like Cinderella/Cinderfella you feel shoehorned into a slipper that doesn’t fit.
4) Unresolved issues/grievances are sucking up energy.
5) Your life is all work and very little play.
6) Anniversary Syndrome
1) You work a job; not your passion.
A majority of heart attacks occur Sunday evening or early Monday. Maybe because people don’t ask themselves if their heart is in their work? If it isn’t, most likely you could become an early Monday statistic because the heart is a clear channel, a pristine transmitter of truth. Listen to the reasons you give yourself for staying stuck. Force yourself into daily self-inquiry into what your passion really is, what you can put your heart into. You’ll be much happier and so will the people around you. Doing nothing can be disastrous. People unhappy at their jobs often have affairs or rack up credit card debt, making life more tenuous. A more mature approach is to get in touch with the passion in your heart rather than putting up with unhappiness.
2) Your life is screeching for change.
When it’s time for a change we prefer that the world and others in it change. Change involves risk and can be scary. However that said, “sometimes you just have to “jump in the abyss and hope the parachute opens on the way down.” Lacking motivation is death by metaphor; your level of energy diminishes, and you find yourself running on empty or operating from a dry well. If change is impossible – and how would you know if you didn’t at least change something – change your mind (or thinking) about where you are. Offer your mind a different perspective on your circumstances. Your mind is your best friend as well as your worst enemy. Convince yourself the difficulties are temporary. Everything is.
3) You feel like Cinderella or cinderfella shoehorned into a slipper that doesn’t fit.
Have you ever watched a group of children at play? How some are quiet and reserved, others are aggressive and demonstrative, while others hold back until called upon. Does your lack of motivation stem from your temperament not meshing with the work you are doing or your company’s values? Ask yourself: 1) are you accepting of your uniqueness or 2) do you condemn yourself for not being more of another’s relating style? If you find yourself comparing yourself to others and finding yourself falling short, that’s a deal-killer. Whenever we put ourselves down in our self-talk, we’re really programming ourselves to become exactly the words we use. Self talk is self-hypnosis.
4) Unresolved issues of an emotional nature are sucking up energy
One client came to overcome the anger he felt over the density of traffic going to work. Ironically, he worked in a metropolitan area known for its moderate traffic. But as always what humans think is the problem, never is. The scenario: his wife was offered a lucrative relocation transfer requiring them to leave a small seaside town the whole family loved to come to a city where the ocean was two hours away.
On paper it looked good. They followed the money. A poor choice because making decisions strictly from your head ignores a very important aspect of good decision making - leaving out our emotions. Emotions run our lives. Logical decisions aren’t necessarily bad but too much logic, (considered a left brain activity), leaves out the wonderful, marvelous right brain which is creative and imaginative. In weighing a decision utilize both sides of the brain. Balancing logic and emotions create superb decision-making.
5) Lack of motivation can be about lack of balance and a poverty of pleasure.
It’s written in Ecclesiastes (ancient scripture) that “there is nothing better for a man that he should eat and drink and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labor.” Americans are workhorses, already working two more months than Europeans. I’m reminded of an owner of a construction company who was working non-stop to the point that after downing a quick supper to work in his shed. He convinced himself (and amazingly, his family) that he couldn’t take off two days for a weekend ski trip because it was two expensive! He accorded himself only one pleasure - his cigarettes - despite a serious health condition. His story – at least the one he give himself to rationalize his workaholic ways - was that he was saving for a rainy day when the housing market would tank. Like most human rationalizations his economics were faulty because he hadn’t factored in the cost of his health which likely would tank first. His homework was to change his perception that the world would not fall apart if he didn’t work 24/7 and take little chunks of pleasure other than smoking.
6) Anniversary syndrome
Probably you’ve never heard of this one for it’s rare to be associated with lacking motivation. The context is a malaise or feeling unmotivated and it often happens around the time of an anniversary of a traumatic or significant event, like a death of a loved one or a shocking accident. Why it crops up later and appears as a lack of motivation or even depression is that usually the event has remained unresolved or ungrieved. Such was the case with Tom, who had been born in poverty and became highly successful in a career in the automotive industry. The motivation for his stellar achievements had been his uneducated mother who told him from the time he was a young boy he could be successful. Shortly after she died, a political play at work dumped him out on the streets. He found another position which did not challenge his considerable skills and talents. A deacon in the church, he started drinking excessively to numb the loss. When he got in touch with the fact that he had not grieved his mother’s loss sufficiently, he began a search for something that would renew his zest for living.
doing what you don’t want to do.
to practice self-inquiry to determine what you do want
shelf life -including us.
so as to enjoy the “present”. Realize guilt and shame tend to be
“the gifts that keep on giving.” And who wants those.
Marie H. Beach is an award-winning journalist, trained business and executive coach and hypnotherapist. This article is copyrighted and may be used with attribution to her coaching website: www.strategycoachinginc.com. Beach also has a Motivation CD available on her website, AllHypnosisCenter.com.